…Special thoughts and prayers being sent to our Angiosarcoma friend Jennifer in NY. I asked you all to pray for her two weeks ago as she was heading in for a “quick” fix of some issues related to her open heart surgery. It was not quick, unfortunately, and ended up being a 4 day stay. She is now left with some discomforting issues in which she will need surgery yet again. Pray for strength and healing for her. Lord, be with her now.
…also..
I am definitely a seasonally depressed person. I LOVE snow and winter, but have trouble adjusting to the lack of light. (I don’t think I would do well in Alaska!). Driving back here to Conestoga from the hospital this morning I just had some thoughts…
I saw my first winter coat of the season, the first frost, the first chimney smoke, and the scattering of the vibrant evervescent colors of fall in the trees this morning. I had felt lost just a few days before with the passing of summer without my participation. In many ways, I was mourning my lost summer, along with so many other things in my life that are now gone. But they are all false. My sense of security in this life of having life, my general routine and habits. Many of it is gone, and although it felt as if I was only mourning a lost summer, it has been so much more than that.
But this morning, for the first time, I felt a peace leaving the hospital. Normally I would feel apprehension. The anxieties of leaving Kevin “alone” and the what if’s of if I’m gone. I realized I have a new false sense of security. Feeling as though as long as I’m with him, nothing bad can happen. However, none of that is true either.
Things can happen at any time, and this morning I realized more of the beauty of living in the present. I am sure we have all heard the symbolism of the word “present” being used both as present time, and as a gift. Both go hand in hand. We are given a present every single morning. This morning, it was the beauty of the new Fall season. The crisp freshness of the frosty air. The warmth and comfort of a winter jacket. The feeling that the dying of the leaves was the springing of life.
Be in the present. Be happy in what you do. Many people I am sure have wondered why I never stuck with anything-like a job, like a college degree. I change…a LOT. My family all knows this. But as a great friend assured me yesterday, in my short 24 years, I have lived.
Travel to experience an unknown world, be with someone you love, do a job you enjoy going to, behold your family, pray to God as if your Life depends on it-because it does, embrace your friends, be loving of your self heart and soul, cherish strangers whom you have yet to meet, do not look down upon but give thanks above. I may never have stuck with a job for more than a few years, or graduated with a college degree, or have felt like I have “done” something with my life. But those are to society’s standards, not mine. Be your own standard, and a standard amongst others.
…just a morning thought for a lifetime plan. Embrace. Cherish. Love.
Praying for you 2.
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen
You and Kev me so much inspiration, love ya!
Beautifully expressed, Brenda. You have learned in your 24 years something that many people never do learn, and when Kevin has recovered, you will both benefit from your strengthened optimistic and grateful outlook on life.
I agree with Mrs. J and feel the same about my life…ur my inspiration…Kev is in my prayers…with God anything and everything is possible! And i hope ur pains subsides so that u can be totally there for Kev. Praying fr u both! All my love! Gen xxx
Hi Kevin and Brenda,
I have been meaning to email for so long, but never get it done. It has been so interesting to read your blogs Brenda. You do a tremendous job in describing what you and Kevin are going through. I feel so sorry for all that has been happening to you both in the last several months. But, Brenda, it sounds like Kevin couldn’t have found a more devoted and precious wife than you.
Kevin, you have been in my prayers ever since your Mom called to tell us about your illness. Just couldn’t believe it when I heard it. Now about a month ago we found out my nephew (thru marriage on Wayne’s side of the family) has the same cancer. They live in Oregon, but are at Mayo this week to get a second opinion. Haven’t heard from them since they arrived in Minnesota.
I haven’t talked to your Mom for a couple of weeks Kevin. But understand they are having a benefit for you in Winnipeg the end of this month sometime. Will have to call her this week end to get the details.
I hope and pray they get your pain stabilized and you will be able to go home this week end. I know you and Brenda have the faith, strength and courage to meet each day with the hope that this cancer will be licked,and you will be back to good health and a wonderful marriage again soon. Keep your chins up!!!
Love you both,
Carolyn Nelson