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The Deepest Loss Oct 28

It is beyond words to tell you of the past two days for us.  I’ll start with the most recent.  This morning, Tuesday, October 28th, Kevin went to be with his Lord and Savior after fighting a long and virtuous battle against an unforgivable cancer.

Yesterday, Dr. Thornton came to tell us that Kevin’s cancer had spread to his abdomen and around his pancreas.  He also was diagnosed with a blood clot in his lung.  Due to his extreme infection, and the chemotherapy, the only “cure” for a blood cot is through blood thinners, and for him that was impossible.  She said that in the beginning, the taxol chemotherapy seemed to work, but that Angiosarcoma is a sickeningly smart cancer and finds its way to new, healthy areas.  She said that there was nothing more we could do, and recommended going to Hospice.

We were rightly devastated, and after much decussion, agreed with Dr. Thornton on the Hospice plan, forgoing a second opinion.  We just didn’t have the energy nor time to dedicate to seeking more answer, and in most liklihood, it would have been the same or worse opinion.

We went over all the options, and put in orders to be transferred to the local Essa Flory Hospice Center.  Kevin and I also discussed his end of life wishes and anything special he would like.  We were at peace with our decisions, yet still devastated at losing that hope.

Kevin originally told me not to spend the night (as at Hopkins, it’s just a recliner chair), but then changed his mind, so I stayed.  Throughout the night, Kevin’s delirium got worse, and he was in so much pain and having trouble breathing.  Early in the morning I had a deep sense that it was his time to go.

I prayed with him while he was slightly awake, and promised Him that I would care for his mother and brother, and that if he was in too much pain, it was ok to go.  We would be ok.  He slumbered on and off for several hours, and then I started making calls to the family.  I just knew that he would not make it.

After making those calls, I went back into Kevin’s room and found him to be barely breathing.  He was completely comfortable and just at peace.  …And I held his hands as he took his last breaths and went to be with His Lord, in his new body, with his Father.

I am beyond devastated.  Disbelieving not so much, just shock.  None of us expected things to go so quickly this direction, but once we found out that the fight was done, Kevin was just too worn out to keep going.  He passed peacefully and with His God.

Linda and Ken Boitson are flying down tonight, so please keep them in your prayers.  We will be making arranagements for both here in Lancaster and in Winnipeg over the next few days, so I will keep you posted.

Please just lift us up in your arms and prayers now as we attempt to move forward honoring Kevin’s life.

Thank you for all you have done for us-I will never forget your support.

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15 Responses

  1. 1
    Amy Beachy 

    Dear Brenda,

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved husband. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I am so touched by your peace and the writing in this blog. You are an inspiration and you will help so many others. I know you don’t know me but if there is ever anything I can do for you or if you just need someone to talk to or someone to spend time with you are more then welcome to email me at [email protected]

    Love in Christ,

  2. 2

    Thank you Brenda for sharing so much of yourself with us. We are all so devastated for you. Although many of us don’t even know you-your fight and love for kevin has been an inspiration to many of us. Know that all of us who knew Kevin (even in the smallest of ways) Thought he was an amazing person, and you are so lucky to have him in your life. Many prayers for you, your family and Kevin’s family.

    All the best,

  3. 3

    You are an amazing lady. I am praying and weeping for you today and as I read this post. As Novella said, I appreciate your sharing so much of yourself with all of us. I know that our Lord will be able to use your lives in amazing ways. I am so sad for you but praying you can find peace.

  4. 4


    I am so sorry for your loss – know you and your family are being thought of… Your love for Kevin was so easy to see. Maybe you find peace in all of this hurt.

    -Matt in MT

  5. 5

    Your fight was virtuous and brave as well, Brenda. You were obviously such a gift to Kevin, as he was to you. Praying that peace that passes all understanding will be yours and that you are flooded with the best and most amazing memories as you plan how to honor Kevin’s life in the way he would have wanted… praying for rest for your body and that you and your family and Linda and Ken will be able to support each other in the days ahead. You both fought the good fight.

  6. 6

    My dearest Brenda,

    My heart weeps with you. Just reading your blog caused the tears to resurface. I want you to know how amazing you have been through this process. Your unrelenting faith is amazing! Even though Kevin’s life ended much quicker than what we would want, God knows much better, and what a testimony you have to continue to share with others. Even with all the heart ache we are feeling, we need to rejoice that Kevin is HEALED and no longer hurting. I’ll continue to pray for you as you move through the greiving process. If there is anything I can do at all, please ask.

    Love, Mandy

  7. 7
    Nikki and Nolan 

    We are thinking and praying for you! Atleast he isnt suffering anymore. Just sitting here and reading your words made me think of what it would be like for me to go through this. You are alot stonger than I am! Nolan and I are here if you need anything! Love ya!:)

  8. 8
    kait young landis 

    Brenda, we are praying for you that God will grant you his peace.

  9. 9
    Rob Solmundson 

    I am saddened and in complete shock. Our deepest sympathies Brenda, please pass them along to Ken and Linda until we get to see them back here in the peg. We will keep Kevin in our thoughts and memories and celebrate his life with them. If there is anything we can do please don’t hesitate. I know we have never met but we feel like we have gotten to know you because of your blog. Even though his life ended way too soon I know he was lucky to have found you.

    The Solmundsons (Rob & Jen)

  10. 10
    Nicole Graby 

    I’m praying for you all, Brenda.

  11. 11

    My deepest sympathies to you, Linda and Ken. I had worked with Linda at Investors and knew Kevin as a young spirited teenager. Thank you for writing this blog with such deep feelings. My thought are with you all in this trying time.

    Love Dolores

  12. 12
    Marilyn Tracy-Fabris 

    With grace and dignity you have shared an intimate part of a journey many of us pray we will never have to endure. Your strength and faith are your virtues. May the days ahead be filled with peace and wonderful memories of a much loved husband, son and brother. God bless you all!

  13. 13

    My deepest sympathies to you, Linda and Ken. Kevin will be deeply missed. He will be always in our heart and never forgotten. He will always be our ray of sunshine.

  14. 14
    Patti (Morti36) 

    Brenda – You and your entire family are in my prayers. I wish you the serenity you need in the tough road ahead. You and Kevin have been a true inspiration to what true love is and faith in God should be. Blessed be.

  15. 15

    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Losing your soul mate is incredibly hard and so unfair. I hope that you find peace and that even though there will be a peice of you missing; you will be able to hold dear to the memories that brought you together. And that the peices Kevin has left with you will forever be cherrished not only by you but those you have touched. I know you dont know me but I do know that Kevin is a good man and comes from a wonderful family.


    p.s. It is so hard to put emotions into words because I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through, however I honestly hope that you will be ok. Though again I do know that that will take time. I will mark the 9th on my calender and I will definatly be there. If you need anything please do not hesitate to email me.

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