Baltimore at Night-Pretty Pretty

Kevin's very happy because...

He just walked two laps and...

..his wife is a HUGE goofball with the camera back in action!

Well….tonight turned out MUCH better than today.  At Kevin’s insistance, I treated myself this afternoon to a massage at the local massage school, and it was cheap!  A bit of depression therapy for myself and much needed.  It was a relaxing time of meditation for me.

This evening we’re just chilling.  Kevin took 2 laps in a row around the halls which was just AMAZING!  Tonight..they’re also starting the feeding tube again!!  We are so happy.  His fluid that is coming out is no longer red looking, and back to it’s old green color (sorry for those with a weak stomach) which is a great thing.  Still quite a lot coming out, but they want to go ahead so that Kevin gets some good nutrition.  He just got weighed and is down to 165-down from 215 less than 2 months ago.  Craziness.  He said he’s down to his 10th grade weight.  I replied “I wish I WAS back to my 10th grade weight!”  Haha.  In all seriousness, we’re glad to be moving ahead with the feeding!

Also, accomplishments for me, I got rid of almost ALL the chocolate in my possession…almost.  When I’m depressed, I eat eat eat.  So, it was time to purge purge purge.  I purchased some good treats at the grocery store that are healthy and had one last super unhealthy meal (from McD’s-need I say more?).  There may still be a splurge or two on bad food, but I am only reserving it for necessary times-not ALL the time.  It’s time to get back on my diet wagon again, and I’m reconnecting with sparkpeople.com, the great site that had helped me lose over 10 lbs before all this happened.

So, we’re back on track, moving forward!

I ran into my dear friend Doris in the pantry-She is doing well-her SOON TO BE (just found this out) husband is getting discharged to home hospice care on Friday.  They plan to get married before everything happens, which I was happy to hear about.  It’s very difficult, but they’re also going to look into alternative medicine to see as well.  You never know when/where the Lord can perform miracles, so continue to lift them up.  There are so many similarities in their cases, and had Kevin had been brought into this just DAYS later, we could’ve been down the same path as them.

Never knowing what the Lord has in store, but trusting in his Will just the same.  Blessings to you tonight.

Well, something is definitely wacky about today, and I haven’t quiet pinpointed it?  Is it the funky weather hitting the states?  Or maybe it’s full moon?  No Friday the 13th coming?  haha.  ANYWAYS-it’s just off.

As usual, Kev and I kept with our in synch sleeping and both had the worst night’s sleep in a LONG time.  Don’t know what it was, but something was definitely not right.  So-Kev is sleeping, and I am definitely a bit more cranky and out of it today!

The good news is, the chemo got started fine this morning which is nice.  We hope everything stays stable and continues to look good and hold on.  I got some errands run this morning, one of which was NOT getting my oil changed.  I just didn’t have the patience to wait 2 hours.  I think I’ll try and get one when I’m home this Saturday.

Nothing big planned for today.  Gotta make some calls, find a missing package, schedule some appts, and run a few more errands.  Another fun paperwork/errand day!  Oh well-it’s gotta get done sometime.

Today’s devotional was very nice (http://wwwupperroom.org/devotional).  It talks about how all that we can do can never fully quench our thirst and drives us towards our need for God.  I’m discovering that day in and out.  As with most believers, we cling closer to God when things are unstable and uncertain, and forget to talk to Him when things are just OK.  I get that way sometimes-the important thing is to keep your life in His hands through the entirety of the journey.  So-I’m going to try to make that my focus this week.

Keep on keepin on and have a wonderful Wacky Wednesday.

I was quite excited to read Merle Hamburger’s latest update (http://www.merlehamburger.net/)-He is cleared and ready to head home to Atlanta to his family!  Apparently the Dr. is pleased with his recovery from pancreatic cancer surgery.  Although, as Merle states, they are unsure what the future holds, they’re glad to finally be moving forward.

We’re moving forward as well: Dr. Thornton popped in tonight and wrote the orders to start chemotherapy tonight.  We’re very grateful to be moving forward in our ventures as well, as the blood loss complications could have prevented it from happening.  Although it’s possible for another bleedout from the tumor, we’re optimistic that God will continue opening doors for us to continue treatment.  Moving forward is the only way to go for us.  Without chemotherapy, that wouldn’t really be an option.

Kevin took another lap around the halls tonight and we saw some friends on the floor.  We met our new neighbors and we also bumped into Doris, whose husband has angiosarcoma.  They were moved to our floor which is quite exciting-that means he’s out of critical care.  I’m not sure the status, but Doris appeared strong and I pray there is still hope-I personally think there is ALWAYS hope.  I was so glad Kev finally got introduced to Doris, as I feel there is such a connection between our families through this dreadful disease.

I think most of the big paperwork is almost completed, which is just nice.  Now I can focus on being more HERE when I’m here!  I’m waiting on a new battery charger for our camera (which mysteriously disappeared between the hospital moves), and as soon as I get it, I’ll be taking pictures GALORE.  Kevin has a new haircut, and I’d love for you you to see his improvements.

I’m also looking forward to taking a picture virtual tour of my journeys throughout the day so you can see how jam packed our lives are here at the hospital.  This truly has become my new full time job, and I love that I can be here for this journey.  Thank you all for allowing us to have this opportunity.

We are in the midst of officially getting a trust opened which we’re both excited about!  This will give us more control over the donations we receive and that it goes to the right things.  It will be called the “Kevin E Boitson Recuperation Trust”-we both love the name of it, as it’s very positive.  As soon as it gets set up, I hope to have a special area where you can donate specifically to the trust if you’d like.  That’s something I need to discuss more with the bank.

While we don’t know what lies ahead, and frankly, have more uncertainty than even, the Lord provides in these times of extreme weakness.  It’s been a journey of humbling grace, and for that, I wouldn’t trade this for the world.  Kevin and I are discovering a new way to love, a new way to care, and certainly a new way to look at life.  I’m learning that it’s ok to cry and bawl hysterically, it’s ok to open up to complete strangers, and to embrace them, and that it’s ok to love, pray and show faith openly.  And again, for that, I wouldn’t trade this for the world.  God has given us a new road to travel, and we’re just hanging on for the ride!

Pretty nice day here at 5D.  Kev and I both got a nice afternoon nap which was great.  This morning, I went to the ER here at Hopkins and had my ankle looked at.  They found a bone fragmant from some of my MANY previous sprains, but other than that, this injury just appears to be a sprain.  So-more ankle brace, off of it as much as possible, and ibuprofen galore should fix me right up.

Kevin is doing ok today-still lots of that annoying cough, and some discomfort in his abdomen which is normal.  He’s in a bit of a funk today, and I can’t blame him.  He’s had an incredibly rough few months.  The exciting thing about today: he got out of his room on his own two legs for the first time EVER and walked the entire way around the unit!!!!  This was a huge accomplishment and one we are very excited about.

Giving a special shoutout prayer request for Merle Hamburger-he is the gentleman Linda and I met while staying at the McElderry house.  He is coming back to Hopkins tomorrow for his post-op check up and we’re praying that all goes well with them, and that he can head back to Atlanta soon.  Love you all.

I got some things done today-just a few more paperwork issues to get done and some MAJOR errands to be run over the next week.  It’ll be busy, but good.

Miss you all!

This mornings rounds were again, quiet, which is always a good thing.  The plan is to start chemo!  Kevin is ready for round two-pushing on.

There is a high possibility that the tumor will bleed out even harder with the next round of chemo, but they’ll just keep giving him blood and stabilizing him in that way.  He continued to drain quite a bit from the clotting in his stomach, but again, they all believe it’s related to the tumor.

Kevin’s severe cough continues.  They still believe it’s related to the massive amounts of surgery that have been done, and his healing process.  We pray that it eases, and it causes Kevin quite a bit of discomfort.

We both got good rest last night, which was nice.  My head is starting to clear of its frustrations.  I’m finding a new frustration in my sprained ankle.  We have new insurance as of today, so I’m trying to figure how all that works.  I’m going to try to “work my connections” here at the hospital to put me in as “emergency care” so it waives the deductable.  I hope that works-haha.  My ankle is still swollen and tender, so it’s time to stop putting it off.

Today is bill collector, insurance call, paperwork day-FUN!  🙁  I hope it all goes smoothly.

Pray for a relaxing, nice day, and for Kevin’s cough to be released and my ankle to be healed!

Reproduction is something I haven’t discussed a lot here because it’s very personal.  I want to share with you a bit because it’s something that has been lain heavily upon my heart.

With the taxol treatment, there is very little chance we will ever be able to conceive.  Although there are things you can do prior to treatment, due to Kevin’s health situation, we were unable to have these things done.

Kevin and I had always hoped to have children together, and this is something that has deeply shaken me.  Although my anxieties and depression about the situation in general have been fairly contained, this particular subject has been one that has caused me a lot of grief.

As with Kevin, the possibility of his esophagus not being reconnected has destroyed some of his hopes, our possibility of not having children has destroyed some of mine.

With cancer, there is not just the initial loss of that “secure” feeling of life, but there is also the loss of so many other things.  In our case, with this cancer, we’re taking some huge losses as well.  While we are so glad that God is giving us the chance to continue our lives together, there are huge sacrifices we take with it as well.  Those alone are sometimes harder to handle than the cancer itself.

Please continue to pray for our minds to be sound and clear.  It is something I especially have been struggling a great deal with.  With my history of ovarian cysts, I have always considered the possibility of us not being able to have children, but now it is almost certain.  Although I have always embraced the idea of us having children either naturally or through adoption, when you find out that you cannot conceive of your own, it is a hard burden to bear.

This again, is very personal to us, but I wanted to share with you a bit of what other things we are struggling with so you know how best to pray and support us.  Thank you, and much love and prayers.

Well, today was a success!  The chest x-ray taken to view the air around the chest looked good, which was encouraging to hear.  Also, Kevin’s fever is gone!  He’s still feeling a bit worn out, but we had a nice, relaxing day.

I even got to partake in some labor day festivities here with the nurses.  I was able to grab the last hot dog and enjoy some treats that they all brought in.  I love the staff, and how they include is in things.  It’s so nice and makes it feel much more homey 🙂

I got to run out today and stock up on Kevin’s juice fix.  Along with Juicy Juice Berry, we’ve officially added Welch’s Orange Fusion to the mix.  I loaded up a wheelchair to bring it all up-WE’RE STOCKED!

Tomorrow Kevin starts on his second round of cchemo, which is a good thing.  It means that everything is working well enough to keep moving forward.  His red cell counts are still stable-they dropped a bit, but nothing concerning.

Friday Kevin gets his new recliner that was a gift from a family friend (BIG HUGS).  He’s SUPER excited about that, as the chair we have in the room is very uncomfortable.  This will also be great to have when he gets home and settled in.

This Saturday, I’m having a girlfriend day back in Lancaster and doing some packing and sorting with the girls.  Should be a nice time.  I’ll let you know the official moving days when I’ll need more BRUTE strength, and a truck or two extra!

We’re looking forward to steady improvement this week, and who knows, maybe even a move to a rehabilitation facility by next week!  We’ll see what the Lord has planned for us.  Most likely, the rehab facility will be here at the hospital, or within Baltimore, so they can do easy transport for Kevin to continue his chemo.  When we get home permanently, we’ll probably be home 2-3 weeks, down in Baltimore for 1 week, and so on for treatments and checkups.  We’ll see how things pan out closer to the time.

Things you can pray for this week:

1) Kevin’s red blood cells to stay stable

2) Chemotherapy to go smoothly with little reaction

3) Paperwork for disability and assistance to go smoothly

4) Continuous imporvement so Kevin can move towards rehab

5) Tumor to shrink even more with the chemotherapy

6) Eventual reconnection of Kevin’s esophagus (this is something that we pray for and talk about daily, as this is very important to Kevin’s quality of life)

7) Mental stability for Kevin and myself as we face daily battles

8) For God to provide for us with our health insurance and make the transitions go smoothly

Thanks for your continued prayers…

Well, Kevin and I must have a severe case of the Mondays, because despite us both getting decent sleeps last night, we’re pooped!  Kevin’s been running a fever since yesterday evening, so we’re definitely concerned about that right now.  He’s “covered” with a bunch of anti-biotics, so hopefully, whatever it is, will go away of its own accord.

Today looks to probably be un-eventful, especially since it’s a holiday.  We like quiet days, especially since we’ve had enough excitement over the past month to last us a lifetime.  We’re blessed to have one of our favorite nurses again today, which makes the day extra nice.

Waiting on rounds this morning, so we’re not quite sure the plan of the day.  I’m sure tomorrow, being a regular work day, will be busy with tests and PT.  I’m really hoping they get Kev up and walking around tomorrow-I think he hopes as well.

I’ll let you know what develops of the fever.

Prayers going out to you today for safe travels, wherever you’re headed, and especially for the people that are in Hurricane Gustav’s path.  Praying for safety.