....

There are just no words.  Not from me, not from those around me.  How can you put THIS into words?  The only thing I can say, is that we are surviving.

I continue to just be devastated.  Some things I can talk about with ease, and others just cause me to break down.  I want to cry all the time, but I know I don't feel any better.  I want to ask why, but I know I will get no answers.  I just want to not be.  But that also is not an answer.  It is just so hard.

Losing a part of you is just torrential.  There is such a HUGE emptiness that no one can describe.  It literally feels like I have been ripped apart and as ravaged as Kevin's body was with this cancer.  I hate it.

Thank God for my support system pulling me along.  Thank God the arrangements are made so I can just focus on being with my family and trying to get through the day.

....there are just no words sometimes.