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Thoughts Oct 28

My brain won’t shut off, as you can imagine.  I have been surrounded by my amazing family, and by all of you all day.  Thank you for that.  I find I can’t sleep, and am praying for a safe journey as Linda and Ken arrive in the next 4 hours to my parents’ home.

I’d like to share with you the last picture I took of Kev, just last evening.  I got a smile from him which was glorious for me.  It’s hard to see, with all the wires and things, but know he is content and we were just enjoying each other’s company during this photo

We were so blessed to have each other.  I was discussing with the chaplain at the hospital today how we both just felt so lucky to have each other.  We both felt like we won the jackpot when we met.  We had such a high respect for one another, and we tried never to take advantage of that.  We hardly fought, and through all we had been through just in our relationship with the distance and immigration, we felt everday was truly a blessing to have each other.  We unfortunately were granted such a short time together, but in that short time, we had such a passionate marriage.  I do not regret a thing when it comes to Kevin and I, and although my loss is beyond imaginable right now, I still feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to love him and to be loved by him.

He is my other half, my soul mate, my ayn true love.  Without him, I am not.  But I will always carry him deeply with me.  He showed me love in ways I never could have comprehended before I met him.  You never would have thought tough guy, ice hockey player, car lovin’, workoutaholic Kevin could have such a deep deep love and charmisma.  But that he had, and so much more.

In our service planning ahead, I want you all to know that tears are expected and welcomed, but celebrating and remembering, and embracing is of the upmost importance to us.  Kevin loved a good party, and we hope to just rejoice in his going to Heaven where he is healed.  We want to rejoice in our mourning, knowing that he is pain free, and just…free.

Some verses that help us get through, and have in the past through this journey…

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials,  that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,  whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,  receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.”
1 Peter 6-10

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

-James 1:23 (NRSV)

By the power at work within us [God] is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine.

– Ephesians 3:20 (NRSV)
Thank you again for all your support and love.  Keep the comments flowing as they are so uplifting to us.  Having you is certainly helping me today.  Thank you and God Bless.
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8 Responses

  1. 1

    I have no idea how you do it Brenda…
    You are amazing.

  2. 2
    Tasia and Chris Tracy 

    You are truly the strongest person I have ever met. Kevin was so very fortunate to have you in his life. I don’t know how you are handling this and your faith is remarkable. Most people (probably myself included)would not understand how God could take away a life this way and would be filled with anger and resentment….. but not you. Here you are in the eve of your love’s passing sharing memories and your thoughts with us….you are an angel.

    I also believe that Kevin never truly knew happiness and love until you. You are an inspiration to many and your endless hope and belief that Kevin would get his miracle was what kept his will to live, he hung on as hard as he could for you and your love for one another.

    Brenda, wherever life takes you from this point on, no matter how difficult the days ahead will be, know that you will always have a dear friend in me. You have touched my life and I will always be here for you.



  3. 3

    Brenda, as you have shared with us your journey over the past while and how lucky you feel to have loved and been loved by Kevin, I am sure as time passes you will find peace knowing that he also felt just as lucky having loved and been loved by you. We all think he was very, very blessed. YOu are strong and brave just as he was.
    Not everyone is blessed to have found their “soulmate” in life. Even though it was for only a short time. It was obvious you two were meant to be together.
    We should all learn from this. You have lived up to marriage vows the way most of us don’t. You and Kevin should not have had to deal with the “in sickness and in health, till death do us part” so early in your lives. But, know that you have made a difference in Many lives. Thank You for sharing with us.
    I am sad for all of you. For his mom and all the family and friends in Winnipeg, For you and all your family and friends.
    I am glad that he is no longer in pain.
    May god bless all of you during this difficult time.

    Rosetta Troia-Schwartz

  4. 4

    I am so sorry for your loss. I will always remember Kevin’s zest for life and his friendly smile. It’s a comfort to know that Kevin is no longer in pain, but is perfect in the presence of the Lord. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.

  5. Dear Brenda, please accept our deepest sympathy on the loss of your beloved Kevin. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and with your family and Kevin’s.

  6. 6
    Sharon Humphreys 

    Just read your message about Kevin. We are so very sorry that Kevin lost his battle with cancer. He truly fought the good fight and never wavered in his faith. You have both been such an inspiration in the face of such terrible trials.
    Surely God has a special place for Kevin. He endured much, as did you. As you’ve said God has a plan for us all. You and Kevin walked this path together and were obviously meant for each other. Bless you. Our prayers are with you.

  7. 7
    Nikki and Nolan 

    Girl how do you stay so strong? I could not be! You and Kevin were so great together! Just reading your entries here did prove that you 2 were soul mates! I’m so glad he is not in pain anymore! We love you and are thinking of you! Nikki and Nolan!

  8. 8
    Jackie Houck 

    Words can not begin to express the pain everyone feels for you! You have showed the love and power of God through everything you’ve faced, and you will be blessed by God for that. Your inspiration of faith and love will not be forgotten and neither will your amazing husband! He has touched the lives of so many with his fight, and Kevin will continue to honor God as you celebrate his life. May God surround you as your strong tower and provide you with complete peace. God bless you, Brenda!

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