Exhaustable day....ready for August 2nd!
Today we had hoped would be an excellent day, and it did start that way. I slept over again last evening and this morning, woke to find Kevin had not slept a WINK. We hung out until around 11:15 when I left to meet some girlfriends for lunch, and Kevin waited to be taken in for his endoscopy/colonoscopy.
I was able to get out of the hospital, run some errands, do laundry, check in with my neglected Kitty, and have lunch with friends. It was a nice time for me. I came home to take a nap afterwards, and finally spoke with Kevin around 4pm. He said the procedure had gone well-the biopsies were taken from his bowel and throat and sent to John Hopkins for cancer determination.
Within 15 minutes, LOTS changed. Kevin was informed that one of his tests had shown that the fluid around his heart was quickly increasing. They would need to move him from our SUPER NICE COMFORTABLE ROOM to the older part of the hospital back on the 6th floor for better monitoring of his heart. I called in to check on him again, and by the tone of the nurse, I hopped into the car and quickly came over to the hospital.
I found Kevin pretty upset at the new situation. The cardio-tharacic surgeon had just visited and informed Kevin that they would need to do surgery on Monday to remove the fluid around his heart. They will go through the stomach, and, at the same time, insert a feeding tube. A feeding tube was discussed earlier due to the lack of nutrition Kevin has been receiving because of where his tumor is located. This will be beneficial when he starts chemotherapy and radiation, as it will irritate the area and will make it harder to swallow.
He is currently getting some tests done to look at ellevated liver enzymes. We were informed they are nowhere near the levels for liver failure, but they need to find out what is causing the higher enzyme count. He is getting an ultrasound as we speak, and will later go for an enzyme test. We are unsure what will happen with this, but these are things that need to be evaluted before the surgery on Monday.
Kevin's spirits, as are mine, are drastically lower than when we were back on the 8th floor and starting to feel independent. Now, he is hooked back up to more monitors, and more tests and surgery are in limbo. It is frustrating, but we are trying to get through this and look ahead to a brighter future.
With the new room situation, I cannot spend the nights, which will be hard. Also, I need to get back to work next week or risk losing my job and our much needed paycheck. I am going to look into medical disability for Kevin on Monday, however, with our immigration history, I am doubtful much can be done by way of government assistance.
We are blessed to have supportive friends and family-I cannot stress this enough. You are one of the biggest reasons we can get through this trial. We are continuing to be faithful in prayer and meditation knowing that the Lord wil not give us more than we can handle. The Lord is faithful and just. While both of us are frustrated and disappointed at times, we know we have faith to pull us through...
Let me share my devotional for the day:
Keep Looking Up
Jesus said, "I have come in order that you might have life -- life in all its fullness."
-John 10:10 (TEV)
I am a bicycle rider. I love the freedom, peace and contentment I feel when I'm riding my bicycle. Sometimes I ride on busy roads. At those times, I often ride the white stripe on the side of the road to leave as much room as possible between the passing cars and my bike. I find that I can easily stay on that stripe if I keep my focus well ahead of my front wheel. It is when I look down at the stripe just below me that I become wobbly and find myself in danger of falling into harm's way.
I see the same importance of focus in the Bible story about Peter. When Peter was walking on the water toward Jesus, he was able to stay on top of the water as long as he kept his focus out ahead - on Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves below his feet, he began to sink.
In life, we have a daily - sometimes even minute-by-minute - choice. When troubles come our way or life's cares begin to overwhelm us and rob us of the abundant life God intends, we can either keep our focus on Christ, with whom all things are possible (Luke 1:37), or look at our fears and begin to wobble. Keeping our focus on Christ frees us to keep our minds and hearts open to receive the abundant life God offers and to be a channel of God's love to others.
Cathy Fooshee (Kansas, U.S.A.)
O God, help us to keep the eyes of our hearts firmly focused upon Christ, that we may live the abundant life you freely offer. Amen.
We choose whether to look at the waves or at God. |
I continue to be amazed at the scripture, thoughts, songs and all that come into our lives and show us God's direction and plan. Although I can't see much ahead, I know that HE is faithful.Tomorrow, we plan to have a HEAD SHAVING party at the hospital. Kevin is ready to get rid of his hair, although, I have convinced him to keep his beard and become a mountain man! If ANY of you are interested in shaving your head WITH Kevin, let me know, or do it, and email me a picture of it. The blog I follow, http://cfhusband.blogspot.com is having a head shaving fundraiser if you'd like to help them in any way!In the meantime, we continue to ask for prayer regarding Kevin's spirits, GOOD test results, the surgery on Monday, and peace about my job and finances.Look ahead....Look behind....look within...look above. God is all around.