Special Thoughts

...Special thoughts and prayers being sent to our Angiosarcoma friend Jennifer in NY.  I asked you all to pray for her two weeks ago as she was heading in for a "quick" fix of some issues related to her open heart surgery.  It was not quick, unfortunately, and ended up being a 4 day stay.  She is now left with some discomforting issues in which she will need surgery yet again.  Pray for strength and healing for her.  Lord, be with her now.

...also..

I am definitely a seasonally depressed person.  I LOVE snow and winter, but have trouble adjusting to the lack of light.  (I don't think I would do well in Alaska!).  Driving back here to Conestoga from the hospital this morning I just had some thoughts...

I saw my first winter coat of the season, the first frost, the first chimney smoke, and the scattering of the vibrant evervescent colors of fall in the trees this morning.  I had felt lost just a few days before with the passing of summer without my participation.  In many ways, I was mourning my lost summer, along with so many other things in my life that are now gone.  But they are all false.  My sense of security in this life of having life, my general routine and habits.  Many of it is gone, and although it felt as if I was only mourning a lost summer, it has been so much more than that.

But this morning, for the first time, I felt a peace leaving the hospital.  Normally I would feel apprehension.  The anxieties of leaving Kevin "alone" and the what if's of if I'm gone.  I realized I have a new false sense of security.  Feeling as though as long as I'm with him, nothing bad can happen.  However, none of that is true either.

Things can happen at any time, and this morning I realized more of the beauty of living in the present.  I am sure we have all heard the symbolism of the word "present" being used both as present time, and as a gift.  Both go hand in hand.  We are given a present every single morning.  This morning, it was the beauty of the new Fall season.  The crisp freshness of the frosty air.  The warmth and comfort of a winter jacket.  The feeling that the dying of the leaves was the springing of life.

Be in the present.  Be happy in what you do.  Many people I am sure have wondered why I never stuck with anything-like a job, like a college degree.  I change...a LOT.  My family all knows this.  But as a great friend assured me yesterday, in my short 24 years, I have lived.

Travel to experience an unknown world, be with someone you love, do a job you enjoy going to, behold your family, pray to God as if your Life depends on it-because it does, embrace your friends, be loving of your self heart and soul, cherish strangers whom you have yet to meet, do not look down upon but give thanks above.  I may never have stuck with a job for more than a few years, or graduated with a college degree, or have felt like I have "done" something with my life.  But those are to society's standards, not mine.  Be your own standard, and a standard amongst others.

...just a morning thought for a lifetime plan.  Embrace.  Cherish.  Love.