The Deepest Loss

It is beyond words to tell you of the past two days for us.  I'll start with the most recent.  This morning, Tuesday, October 28th, Kevin went to be with his Lord and Savior after fighting a long and virtuous battle against an unforgivable cancer.

Yesterday, Dr. Thornton came to tell us that Kevin's cancer had spread to his abdomen and around his pancreas.  He also was diagnosed with a blood clot in his lung.  Due to his extreme infection, and the chemotherapy, the only "cure" for a blood cot is through blood thinners, and for him that was impossible.  She said that in the beginning, the taxol chemotherapy seemed to work, but that Angiosarcoma is a sickeningly smart cancer and finds its way to new, healthy areas.  She said that there was nothing more we could do, and recommended going to Hospice.

We were rightly devastated, and after much decussion, agreed with Dr. Thornton on the Hospice plan, forgoing a second opinion.  We just didn't have the energy nor time to dedicate to seeking more answer, and in most liklihood, it would have been the same or worse opinion.

We went over all the options, and put in orders to be transferred to the local Essa Flory Hospice Center.  Kevin and I also discussed his end of life wishes and anything special he would like.  We were at peace with our decisions, yet still devastated at losing that hope.

Kevin originally told me not to spend the night (as at Hopkins, it's just a recliner chair), but then changed his mind, so I stayed.  Throughout the night, Kevin's delirium got worse, and he was in so much pain and having trouble breathing.  Early in the morning I had a deep sense that it was his time to go.

I prayed with him while he was slightly awake, and promised Him that I would care for his mother and brother, and that if he was in too much pain, it was ok to go.  We would be ok.  He slumbered on and off for several hours, and then I started making calls to the family.  I just knew that he would not make it.

After making those calls, I went back into Kevin's room and found him to be barely breathing.  He was completely comfortable and just at peace.  ...And I held his hands as he took his last breaths and went to be with His Lord, in his new body, with his Father.

I am beyond devastated.  Disbelieving not so much, just shock.  None of us expected things to go so quickly this direction, but once we found out that the fight was done, Kevin was just too worn out to keep going.  He passed peacefully and with His God.

Linda and Ken Boitson are flying down tonight, so please keep them in your prayers.  We will be making arranagements for both here in Lancaster and in Winnipeg over the next few days, so I will keep you posted.

Please just lift us up in your arms and prayers now as we attempt to move forward honoring Kevin's life.

Thank you for all you have done for us-I will never forget your support.